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Amusings's avatar

Our son is gay. His father loves him dearly, was involved in his life and vice versa. Dad loves golf. Son, not so much. Perhaps I err on the more masculine side but I'm not sure generalizations can be made. I love golf. I love masculine men. And I love my son without boundaries or exceptions. So does his Dad.

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Jack Cashill's avatar

I know exceptions to the above rule as well. There is a nature side to the argument, but the nurture side is often given short shrift. Thanks for responding.

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Amusings's avatar

I agree. To some extent it has taken on a social 'coolness' factor with young people who want to 'be different'. Some pressure from social media as well. But, as I'm sure you've seen, some young boys are born that way. We happen to have one. He is also a pleaser and wants to be liked and fit in. He would be the last person to 'buck the system' if it wasn't inherent in him. I think maybe at times he wishes it was different, but he's also decided he's not going to be ashamed. And I'm glad for him.

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KD's avatar

You feminized your son and accepted contributed to his being gay. You both failed as parents.

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Ashe's avatar

This is very personal. Please consider being kind even to those you believe are in error.

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Amusings's avatar

Thank you.

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Mystic William's avatar

I have read if the Mom has too much testosterone there is some evidence boy babies will be born gay. High testosterone Moms might attract weaker men. I know lots of gay guys but I don’t know enough of their family stories to comment on a pattern. But I do know a few of their family histories and these ones don’t fit the absent Dad idea. The Moms though seem a little masculine.

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W. A. Samuel's avatar

Interesting observations about professional men golfers. OTOH, the LGPA women’s tour gives off a different vibe. I suspect only a small minority are open lesbians, but many of the LGPA players and officials are very sympathetic to LGBTQ causes. Just my observation and opinion.

The WNBA ??: A total turnoff for this fulfilled heterosexual.

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URsomoney's avatar

My whole life I was sold on the nature/born this way & also did not want to judge. But I’m finding more & more proof of the “nurture” that creates more gay men than nature. Generally if there is a missing bond between the father & son then that son will find bonds elsewhere. Unfortunately many gay men prey on younger men/boys. The majority admit that they learned the ropes of what to do from an older man. The rise in pornography also pushes & promotes men into unknown scenarios to keep upping the thrill - similar to moving on to stronger drugs except this is so much more accessible by merely tapping a button on the screen. I heard an interview from an undercover journalist with an employee from pornhub (or whatever they’re calling it now), & he admitted that they are turning straight men onto gay porn. The worst of course is when they start to introduce children. Looking back at history is this practice any different than the Roman men with their slave boys. Although the Roman men generally were bi & demonstrated overwhelming masculinity….similar to the gay/bi culture in prisons.

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Greg McKinney's avatar

Many gays will regale you with stories of being blossomed by a male relative or family friend at a very young age. Very few will tell you they’re angry about it. In fact they loved it so much they seek out new boys to re-experience their own history.

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Jim Darlington's avatar

My strongest suspicion is that, since homosexuality is not a natural inclination, it must be a learned behavior. Learned from pedophiles or from peers who learned from pedophiles. Having been so violated some recover and are forever angry at their rapist. Others internalize the trauma as though it was their own doing and adopt the behavior as an unfortunate matter of a psychological defense mechanism. This explains the generational phenomenon of the violated becoming violators in turn.

Jack's suggestion that strong family support and encouragement, especially from a loving and protective father, might be factors diminishing the likelihood of "gayness", would seem to fit in with that thesis. A hawk-eye set against any possible bad influences and the potent infusion of manly wisdom, as to what to avoid on their own would be sufficient insulation against the predators that lurk on the fringes of every community.

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Amusings's avatar

It may not be a natural inclination but nature presents with many, non-evolutionary appropriate anomalies. I can tell you that our son was not violated and was effeminate from the get go. He was born the way he was born.

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KD's avatar

You are NOT BORN GAY!

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Amusings's avatar

Disagree...respectfully. But disagree.

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KD's avatar

There is an extremely high percentage that men, & women even, become gay due to early sexual abuse, typically by a male. The only way to cope with the mind fracturing is to become gay. Humans are not created gay. Period. There is no such thing as a homosexual mammal ever anywhere. If they aren't born gay then neither are we. Being gay is groomed not organic. The only thing about being gay has everything to do with who you want to have sex with. It's about nothing but sex. It's a sterile existence that goes against the nature of procreation.

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Jim's avatar

No one is born gay.

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Amusings's avatar

Ditto to above. It's behavior and inclination that has been around for millennia. No, it doesn't propagate the species. Yes, it's anti-evolutionary or survivalist, but it is not new or novel. It has ridiculously exploded in the last 50 years to a level that is probably way above naturally occurring. My theory: hormones in everything we consume.

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Claus Hergeshiemer's avatar

This how it’s supposed to be . I don’t care if some fucking asshole wants to suck dick or not , doesn’t bother me. Why the fuck should It a big fucking public display? It’s not like they make a big public display about being hetero … and yes, I like to sprinkle expletives generously (perhaps even gratuitously ) throughout my posts 😇

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KD's avatar

It's all fine and good when it's behind closed doors huh. Oh wait its all fine and good when they are grooming children in libraries. Stop accepting degenerate behavior as normal.

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Claus Hergeshiemer's avatar

That ship has sailed … my personal feelings on the subject are someone irrelevant … bottom line I don’t want somebody fucking with my kids, their minds or their bodies … I think that there are a lot of gay people out there that do their own thing that are not favour of all the extra bullshit …when I was a kid it was literally illegal to have a homosexual relations … guess where they put them ? In prison !!! You got to admit that’s pretty funny ! As a 12 year old kid I was laughing, “ So let me get this straight you’re putting fags in prison so that they can be fucked by other men ?” What a fucking joke anyways .

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JD's avatar

Why not? Many of them excel at hole in ones!!!

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Jim Darlington's avatar

Well, if you must,,,that is a pretty sub-par wisecrack.

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Dix Gary's avatar

I think the lpga has gay golfers; have you examined their backgrounds?

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J.M. BLIGHT's avatar

Intense & interesting. Your stock & trade is on point. A masterful approach to the meat of what a soul truly is & you have kicked ass until both shoes are shitty. Also, your prolific work ethic is illuminating & impeccable. Bravo!

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Thomas Kerr's avatar

Viktor Hovland wife or girlfriend?

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Steve's avatar

I’m straighter than a new off the shelf arrow, AND I HATE GOLF.

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Larry Shell's avatar

Older gay male here. I think your approach to what makes us gay is dated and laced with lingering traces of Freudianism. One might as well try to figure out what makes lefties left handed. Where you might be on to something is the father/son connection in introducing a love of the game and carrying on the tradition. Even in today’s world many gay kids grow up isolated and closeted possibly distancing themselves from their parents. However, there’s also the possibility that many of us just aren’t that into sports like our straight counterparts. There’s actually very few openly gay professional athletes in general. Like less than a dozen I’m thinking combined in all major sports. If there is anyone in men’s golf he is likely to be private not closeted, after all it’s really nobody’s business.

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Joel's avatar

Ummmm absolutely positively do not give one shit.

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